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Wednesday, April 30, 2003
8:01 AM
i'm teething.
Sunday, April 27, 2003
10:20 PM
had a good but exhausting weekend. mari's birthday friday night, and cardinal alumni banquet saturday.
actually, the alumni banquet was a little lame, in the way those things can usually be. but stephen got an award and made for some entertainment for the evening, and i spent some time with current and old staff. considering writing an opinion column for the final semester of my college career after talking with some people, but the sane part of me says that's a terrible terrible idea. however, that does not mean i won't do it. practicality has never been my strong point when it comes to these sorts of things.
suppose i'm just feeling a bit nostalgic for that environment and that sort of group. i tend to spend much of my time with a small group of people, and many of them will be leaving in the fall. i don't know.
i think i have some thinking to do. about a lot of things.
Tuesday, April 22, 2003
6:57 PM
"destiny's a state of mind, and today i'm doing fine" - heather nova
despite the creeping end of semester stress. paper draft due wednesday, group paper due friday (i hate group papers), but i feel like it's all going well and i'll do fine, considering how behind being sick had put me. i've just selectively abandoned all hope of doing certain readings and moved on from there. both law finals are take homes, so that does much to relieve that sort of worry.
am carefully avoiding the pile of chocolate and candy that has taken over our fruit bowl, though it's calling out to me.
also, i've become obsessed with moving into my new apartment, though it's still not certain i'll even be able to in june. i'm so looking forward to it, and have started to plan bedroom set-up and attempt to figure out what i need.
surviving on caffeine for the rest of the semester. no getting around it. a small pot in the morning or i will not be functional all day.
12:27 AM
oh god, have i had too much chocolate today. food should never be a coping strategy.
Monday, April 21, 2003
12:01 AM
my family remains its rambunctious overwhelming self, this time contained in a tiny cottage, as it was raining and cold this easter rather than the usual temperate and sunny (usually take a long walk down the railroad tracks and along the mississippi). yet overall a pleasant experience. grandma seems to continue to shrink, and cousins are getting taller and taller. alia's found a decent boyfriend, and questions as to my relationship status kept to a minimum.
i think i've come to like quiet and small groups too much. makes the intensity harder on me than it once was. adore them, but...yes.
Thursday, April 17, 2003
2:27 AM
insomnia is bad. i can't concentrate on school work, so the time is fairly wasted, as is my next day. i've been up this last all week. it's driving me crazy.
so i checked my stats, as i haven't in awhile, and i think the best hit as of late came from "genius of today." also, lots of sweet linkage action from dan and amanda.
maybe i should try meditating to help me get to sleep. new idea. yeah!
Wednesday, April 16, 2003
12:06 AM
a collection of small moments on a pre-summer day.
waking up, sunshine filtering under the blinds, a lake breeze blowing up the hill and through the window over my shoulders, just cool enough to pull up my quilt and drifting back to sleep.
riding my bike downhill, holding down my skirt against the wind.
late for class, pulling off my sandals and running barefoot up the long green of bascom hill, barely resisting the pull of sunlight and lake shore and the path to picnic point.
sitting lakeside in mid-afternoon, eating ice cream with meredith and watching the paired off ducks move upon the water. a single female preened her patterned feathers until her mate showed up and the swam off together.
Sunday, April 13, 2003
6:09 PM
read this: The Press and the Myths of War
12:35 AM
sword really has come to dominate my saturdays. i'm okay with that, though it tends to affect my homework action. class was good today, though exhausting. i came home, lay down and slept for two hours. which partially explains why i'm not in bed yet. learned some new things, which i always find to be happy. weather was so gorgeous i wish we could have been outside. dan and i were early, so we messed around out in the parking lot for awhile. mostly him demonstrating new and interesting ways to kill me.
switching gears...
i've been very serious lately, not that most anyone would notice. not that i'm depressed, because i think that may have finally passed. i've learned recently about some very bad things that have happened to people i care about dearly, which has made me think about other very bad things from the past. i get angry and i get quiet and mostly i don't say anything about it. when i do try, to a select few, the words just can't come. it's hard to explain that combination of rage and fear and helplessness at the inability to change things, so i can't really say anything at all without feeling like i'm revealing too much. there are bad things that happen in this world, and though they're perpetrated by a very few terrible people, it changes everything. i'd like to believe that most people are good people...i do most of the time. but it's hard to trust in that goodness when there are enough who are evil to change so many things about the way i live my life. i keep trying, and remind myself of the good people i have surrounded myself with. it helps to know people who are worthy of the air they breath.
Saturday, April 12, 2003
12:02 AM
chicago - london: $405
chicago - tokyo: $442
next winter/spring. visit europe & meredith. visit japan & mari. goals to look forward to. and i can probably get cheaper fare via sta. i need to start planning something so i quit going insane being in madison.
tentative job research/search would also be a good idea. now what are my marketable job skills?
Friday, April 11, 2003
11:41 PM
the thing about waiting for guffman is that it's so scarily true, in terms of the production. it feels like every high school theater show we ever did. everything was ramshackle, last minute, never ever rehearsed enough. dance numbers were half-assed at best. there were always a few people who didn't learn their lines, and though they had minor parts they always managed to momentarily trip everyone else up. starring actors would get themselves an academic suspension half way through production. however, i'm not sure our end result was ever that bad. *smiles* though they have better sets.
weekend of homework, sword class, breakfasts. my life is so boring right now...
i've never seen this episode of the power puff girls before. they are pretending to play themselves in the house on a rainy day. the professor is dressed up as bubbles. this means he's walking around in boxers and the tiniest shirt ever. very amusing.
9:07 AM
sometimes i worry that i'm incredibly boring and self absorbed.
12:01 AM
i registered for my fall class yesterday. i then immediately ordered dars reports to ensure that i would have all requirements filled. and they are (except for some paperwork related to my theory coursework in political science). and i'm really going to graduate in december. which seems so ridiculous and also very very far away. the whole never going to be ready but have been ready for a long time now. so yeah...i'm really going to graduate. i'm really going to be done. scares me. but i suppose it's time.
was late for everything today. not a huge deal over all. had my pre-trial conference related to that stupid traffic ticket over the phone today. may accept the reduced fine and avoid the fuss of dealing with a judge.
still no sword.
Tuesday, April 08, 2003
10:09 PM
"the u.s. military's whack-a-mole approach to killing saddam hussein may have finally worked."
lol...i love the daily show.
Friday, April 04, 2003
11:59 PM
it freaking snowed. where went spring?
Thursday, April 03, 2003
9:38 PM
for those keeping track of my illness action, the scorecard for today:
six advil.
various throat drops.
two power lectures.
ate normal food.
bookstore work.
sword class.
result? tired, but not dead tired. fell asleep in con law, but howard forgives me pretty much everything.
wore my hakama for the first time during training...very strange. feels as if i'm wearing a bustle under a heavy skirt, but i have to be able to jump and move quickly in it. looks pretty cool. still no actual sword. do i need to start making sacrifices to the delivery gods?
Wednesday, April 02, 2003
9:57 PM
how many people get sent home from class by their professor? i managed that today, as i nodded off in my satire course. max called me out on it and sent me home to get sleep and continue healing. it seemed a good natured home sending...he was very nice about it. but off i went and ambled home. and i'm still ambling, just now mentally. suppose i'll sleep.
managed to go to work for the day. still not healed. but that bit better. hopefully it'll continue to tomorrow.
Tuesday, April 01, 2003
11:00 PM
feeling quite a measure better. going to attempt work and class tomorrow. i guess that's all. i went outside for awhile, because it was beautiful out. (picked up my katana case, which is lovely. now if only there was a sword to go inside it.)
