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Sunday, June 30, 2002
6:31 AM
where: dubrovnik
how: pissed (as in angry, not drunk)
fucking paypal.
Saturday, June 29, 2002
1:11 PM
where: dubrovnik
how: happy
music: whatever bad techno the internet cafe is playing
there is a little girl at my side, touching my arm, then kissing it. i can not understand her low pleading words, but i understand what she wants. her mother is asleep on the grass nearby, her little sister playing farther away. we are walking by cement squares that used to be the floors of homes. a skyscraper nearby is slowly being repaired, for it sat too closely to snipers alley. a block beyond it the towering hulk of what was probably once a hotel mars the skyline with its burned and pockmarked frame, blocking the too familiar hills whose trees are only begining to return to the line of fire where they had been clearcut. there are mortar shell wounds on the sidewalks, bullet holes in walls, walls that were once buildings but now open on the sky. this is sarajevo. this is mostar. this is a different world than any i can know. we drove through the countryside and i could not help but wonder if the empty windows of their neighbors haunt those who still live beside the relics of homes and the cemetaries full of too many recent graves.
dubrovnik has improved my mood considerably, making me feel a lighter again, but i haven't forgotten what i saw. i won't. here its beautiful, and if you didn't look you could imagine that it never saw the war. the marble streets and blue water, gravel beaches and bright hot sun. our vacation from our vacation, in a way. we're in a lovely private room, hotel quality, about 20 minutes walk from the old town. the little old woman has juice, tea, or coffee for us when we come in, did our laundry (our white clothing is actually white again...this is a miracle of god). its comfy. turkish coffee, btw, is an experience.
only 18 days?
Monday, June 24, 2002
3:06 AM
where: ljubljana
how: happy
music: lucinda williams
apparently i cannot spell anymore. oh well. so yeah, today is to be spent mostly in biding the time before we catch our night bus to sarajevo, where we are not even sure if we have someplace to stay. fun. we*ll hit the travel agency, try to by my flights in to santorini and to rome since the local airlines don*t e-ticket. we*ll probably eat more icecream, look through bookstores in the quest for english language books, try on shoes we can*t buy because we*ve already spent too much money. maybe a waste of a day in terms of cultural value, but hopefully not in the general living category. god, i can*t wait to get to dubrovnik and santorini.
home in 23 days.
scary.
Sunday, June 23, 2002
11:45 AM
where: ljubljana
how: contemplative
music: both hands, difranco
getting access to the internet in slovenia is near impossible. not a good sign for sarajevo. but as we are only there a day i am not terribly concerned. this is gorgeous gorgeous country, possibly the most beautiful i have been in yet. the captial city is low key and lovely in its own way, but coming in on the train took us through mountains and valleys and the most gorgeous villages without names that we could see. its so green here. staying in a private room at the house of a little old woman who could be my great grandmother and wandering while eating ice cream. found a great vegitarian restaurant 2 blocks from where we sleep.
though we were dirty americans last night and went to see john q at the local theater, mostly for the air conditioning and the chance to here something in english and glimpse pieces of america. i dont really want to come home, but i have to admit to missing parts of it. anyway...
home in 24 days.
Thursday, June 20, 2002
9:44 AM
where: vienna
how: by accident
music: alice cooper
we're supposed to be slovenia. needless to say, we are not. train schedules are not always accurate. a valuble lesson to learn. but tomorrow morning we will leave for another long train ride and arrive in ljubljana at a reasonable hour (not the 11pm we would have ended up there tonight if we'd taken the later train). fun.
Wednesday, June 19, 2002
3:50 PM
where: bratislava
how: hot
music: clem snide
god, eastern european trains are very very hot. i thought i was going to die today. hopefully the trip down to ljubljana won't kill me...slovenia is supposed to be beautiful though, and we're making a day trip to lake bled. i'm really looking forward to it, especially to riding through all the little towns along the way. they tend to be the most gorgeous. god, i love this. i never want to come home. if i had the money, i'm not sure i would.
Monday, June 17, 2002
12:44 PM
where: stary smokovec
how: happy
music: the most ridiculous leftovers of the 80s
today i rode a cable car to the top of one of the tatras mountains. not quite to the summit, but the cloud cover would have prevented any sort of view. i've never really seen mountains before coming here, and it was absolutely breathtaking to look out on the valley. we hiked around, over recent landslides 2000 meters above sea level. later we got kicked off a train back to the settlement we're staying in because we wouldn't bribe the conductor. we found it hilarious and just walked the 5 kms home.
also, someone has done a word for word remake of like a prayer, only altering the beat...it's all over europe, it seems. it's very strange.
Sunday, June 16, 2002
6:50 AM
where: stary smokovec, slovakia
how: well rested
music: jimmy eat world
beautiful country here. mountains and mountains and god it's beautiful. we're going to go try to climb around on one for a bit when the sun comes back out. it makes me irrationally happy to be out of cities.
we're finalizing our itinerary tonight, going to see a travel agent tomorrow to confirm we can get train where and when we need to, and so i can buy a plane ticket athens to santorini (otherwise the ferry ride is crazy long).
Friday, June 14, 2002
2:11 PM
where: bratislava, slovakia
how: twitchy
music: nina simone
train last night wasn't great. had an austrian in the compartment with me, we had a long conversation (mostly about how much she was going to miss her italian boyfriend now that she was moving away from florence), but then i was completely unable to sleep. by the time i got here and finally found someplace to stay (which ended up being a bit difficult) i collapsed and slept for six hours. which i felt bad about, as i'd promised to go to an art exhibit a few blocks from where i was staying. i'd met the artist on the train from vienna, talked quite awhile with him, and he helped me a lot when i got here, even paying for a taxi to get me downtown. maybe on our way back from the mountains we can stop in and check it out. he was from boston, but lives in greece. did the peace corps, lots of traveling, quite an interesting guy. but yeah. time to find someplace cheap to eat dinner (as my room is overpriced), and then to bed. i make my way into the high tatras tomorrow, where we will find a mountain chalet to sleep at.
Wednesday, June 12, 2002
10:31 AM
where: rome
how: thoughtful
music: coldplay
there°s an incredibly wide range of things i°ve said in my journals. entire important episodes in my life have been skipped and other inanities minutely detailed. lately i°ve just been tired, and much of little consequential value makes in up. and that°s okay, since while my life is fun it°s probably pretty boring to read about and i should avoid prattling on. but i will anyway.
yesterday was a wash. i was too exhausted from whatever knocked my body down (probably heat exhaustion) to go anywhere and i slept most of the day. i did, however, have one of the best evenings i°ve had in a very long time. we went down the street to a local italian place, very traditional, family run, etc. valentino was our waiter, the meal lasted past midnight, from the soup to the cherries as dessert, and those who came with me are people i°d like to keep in contact with for a long time. intense, interesting, complex. dinner parties are a necessity when i make it home.
today we went to the vatican and saw the pope give his blessings. it was a strange experience for me. he°s getting very old, there°s no doubt about the status of his health, and it was sad to see. it was also a reminder of the complex relationship i have with the faith i was born into. it may sound strange, but i cried when they brought him onto the stage (he rides around on a rolling platform now). admittedly, i cry more easily these days (god only knows why), but still...there was something in that moment for me that i didn°t understand. i cannot accept the faith of my mother as it stands...yet i cannot seem to fully reject it. i still make the sign of the cross upon entering churches, light candles for those i love. yet i disagree with so much of what catholicism stands for that i know i am no longer one of them...
and on a side note, i hate all those bastards who insist on taking pictures of great works of art, like the sistine chapel, using flashes, despite signs all over telling them not to. causes the destruction of said works. i yelled at someone doing so today, and it made me feel a little better.
Monday, June 10, 2002
2:46 PM
sun stroke is bad. especially if it lays me up enough to keep me from pompei. i°m feeling pretty shit, and i think it°s just overexposure to the italian sun, which i spent the entire day walking around in. i think i°m going to go collapse now.
3:17 AM
where: rome
how: energized
saw the vatican yesterday. well, st. peters and part of the city, but then i accidently wandered out of the city and back into the tiny twisting streets of rome. i ended up in a piazza where i didn°t know where i was, sat down at a cafe and watched the priest sitting next to me smoke, drink beer and talk into a cell phone. an interesting experience. brushed off italian men. today the pantheon, and the colloseum. tomorrow, pompei?
Sunday, June 09, 2002
4:45 AM
where: rome
how: human
called me parents yesterday while in me 3 hours in vienna between trains. daddy sounds good and mom says he°s fine, so i believe them and feel about a million times better. it°s scary though, because heart problems are what killed his father, and i°m now so much more aware of what could happen, and that in the back of my mind i°ll continue to worry about his health. he°s at that age where it becomes an issue, and something to watch. sigh. i guess it°s just something i°ll learn to deal with.
got in this morning after an uneventful night train ride with some cool girls from indiana. rome is beautiful, the weather lovely. i think i°m going to head towards the vatican, since it°s in the neighborhood. or maybe i°ll just go to the colloseum. today, like every other day, will be about walking around and meeting interesting people, like the italian at the train station. he had to have been my father°s age, and he was such a terrible flirt while i was buying my ticket for leaving (if i°ve learned nothing, it°s always reserve couchettes several days in advance). hmmm....pompeii tuesday, i think. the pope°s blessing on wednesday (if it°s still wednesdays that he does it). tonight zoey and i are going out to a local place where the owner serves you whatever his wife has been cooking all day. you can°t get more authentic than that without going into someone°s home.
Thursday, June 06, 2002
12:17 PM
where: prague
how: worried
music: ambient
m is feeling much better, which is a relief. i can stop worrying about that. but now i can worry about my father, who apparently has an infection around his heart. they went into the hospital, now he gets to take a lot of pills, and i'm going to sit over here and worry. i want to cry, but i'm in public and it's not really an option. he seemed to minimize it in his email to me, but daddy always does. i will not be able to take it if something happens to him while i'm away. shit, i am crying. i'll go home if they want me too....i just...fuck
Wednesday, June 05, 2002
1:13 PM
and one more thing, on a more serious note.
m is sick again. it seems to be getting better, but it's followed that pattern before, and she still has the head cold that has previously become a lung infection. if it does mutate into that again (and hopefully it won't) and she gets really bad i guess i'll insist she return home, and i'll come with her if i have to. it's frustrating to be out of reach of the medical profession. atleast the profession that we trust. getting back to london would absorb such a large amount of time and money that she'd just have to go home anyway. sigh.
12:24 PM
where: prague
how: contemplative
music: jump little children
stayed out all night for my first night in prague. much fun was had by all. drinking budvar, foosball, walking the streets long after midnight, hanging out in a park by the river until the sun rose. it's a romantic city, old architecture, gentle lighting on the streets at night, and the river. i want to come back here someday with someone i love. assuming that's even possible. i've realized lately how introverted i can be sometimes. not always, but i find more and more i'd rather just relax than run the length of the bar scene (not that last night wasn't fun). give me coffee and someone interesting to talk to and i'll be even happier. you can't exactly have deep conversations talking over the latest pop trash.
Monday, June 03, 2002
1:00 PM
where: cesky krumlov
how: relaxed
music: tori amos
i have written about ten million emails today. it's ridiculous. but my own fault for not answering in forever. there's just so much else to do.
went trough gyor, then vienna, now here. prague tomorrow. have to make my final decisions about italy very very soon. i can't believe i have to miss so much of it...it's almost reason enough to skip it and come back to it when i have more time to devote to the whole thing. but considering my interest in rome and greece, it'd be dirty not to go. gotta think.....
