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Thursday, February 28, 2002
6:47 PM
so, i'm leaving for malta in less than 12 hours, my clothes STILL aren't dry and i have to pack. i'm good at this, aren't i? :)
anyway, it's been a good week. saw kiss me kate and spent the whole time thinking the lead was bruce cambell of evil dead fame (it wasn't him). finished paying for my egypt trip and began pricing flights to dublin for easter weekend. more time spent hanging out at both the troubadour and the goat with friends. sent out what seems like a million postcards. and it sounds like my roommate has found us an apartment for the fall (knock on wood) which removes stones of stress off me. so at this moment life is leaving me with a smile.
5:36 PM
here's what should have been posted 2 days ago, but i had some blogger issues:
draft (2:45 p.m. 26 february 2002)
crack on the wall
plaster patch curving over it
except where it has failed
and a drop of water
wells
crumbling would begin
again
water stains spreading
seeping
seeking gravity down
until the floor below
rots through
not with ages
but willful damage, careless neglect
not unbreakable
soon collapsing under the weight
demolished
destroyed
razed
replaced
it's a really dark poem. but the funny thing is, i've been really happy all day. leaving for malta on friday, where i will be warm instead of cold and we can go look at 3000 year old ruins or read...just relax, no rushing, no homework, just books we want to read (or write).
finished reading slut! growing up female with a bad reputation by leora tanenbaum. it's main focus is on the sexual double standard. it's 'subplots' are just as intriguing, especially its exploration of how women use the sexual double standard against other women. if you're a young woman, i think it should be required reading (and if it was possible, forced to understand it). it could make a difference in many lives.
Tuesday, February 26, 2002
7:54 AM
weekend was nice. went to oxford. did homework. whatever. found the troubadour (best coffeeshop/pub/restaurant ever). can't wait to leave for malta on friday. need out of this gloomy gloomy weather and into the sun.
Friday, February 22, 2002
6:37 PM
so today was my day to be an american. slept late (which was wonderful), then wasted a few hours doing nothing before going on a tour of the houses of parliment. i learned things there, but i won't bore you, though the highlight was the security checkpoint with xray machines and metal detectors set up on where the alter used to be in st. stephen's chapel. actually, that was depressing. but what can you do? then we returned to the flat, only to go out for tex/mex at tumbleweed (yes, the american chain) in the mall in notting hill followed by two hours of staring at the movie screen for ocean's eleven while eating giant bags of gummy candy. was a good day. :) but tomorrow's to oxford (if i don't oversleep), so i can go back to being a respectable college student not fitting the stereotype too badly (i hope, anyway).
i feel very ambivalent about some things in my personal life right now...if you really want to know, ask. they're too complex to write down at the moment, and maybe too personal to post.
8:33 AM
last night we saw carmen at royal albert hall. while it didn't blow me away in the same way attila did, it was still amazing. the set and stage design (it's theater in the round) was impressive, as was the choreography (if you ignored the fact they left out a majority the ballet work). not to mention the facility itself, which is getting closer to completion of restoration work.
we're looking into getting tickets to gizelle, as our program isn't providing any opportunities for ballet viewing, and the royal ballet is supposed to be one of the best troops in the world.
and i went to the skankiest bar in our neighborhood last night, post opera, because cuba was closed for a private party. it's "jimmie's," just off of kensington high street. color scheme red and white, plastic, smokey. some of the chairs light up when you sit in them. a cheesy two person cover band, but all the songs they were playing were american pop hits. oh, and "alabama." it was pretty hilarious, but we didn't stay long. (this was the same bar that on valentines day had male strippers, though i missed that excitement.)
Wednesday, February 20, 2002
7:24 PM
"i think i have monogamy. i must have caught it from you people." - samantha
i love sex in the city with the whole of my heart. well, as much as you can love a tv show. it's in addiction in my flat. we all gather around the tv at 10 p.m. every wednesday night in our slouchy comfy clothes and eat ice cream and watch the girls live the lives we'll never lead (because i'm not sure anyone actually lives those lives). but it's good old fashioned girl bonding and ritual.
today (ie inane prattling of details): we toured the inns of court, nothing earth shattering, though we did see the church which once housed the knights templar (dissolved in 1312 under trumped up charges of moral depravity, yes i learned something!). did a run through of the tudor and stuart exhibits at the national portrait gallery for our history class. then, i must confess...i ate kfc. i only eat it once a year, super bowl sunday, and since i missed it for 2002, it was allowed. plus, i ate for all of £2.50, so it was very very cheap, which is important in this city. then we watched terms of endearment for theater (learning plot analysis) and all ended up sobbing, even the boys. afterwards we went and got drinks because, though it was only 5 p.m., we needed to cheer up. atleast that was our excuse.
okay, done sounding inane for the day. going to book spring break hotels/hostels & to see carmen tomorrow. it should be a good day.
7:52 AM
allright, blogger crashed last night, so here's then entry that should have gone up:
wow...that was opera. and it was opera with half naked men, which made it even more impressive. but seriously...
truthfully, up until now, i just haven't been into the operas we've seen. the mikado was kinda painful (though it's technically an operetta), and la traviatta was less than i'd hoped for, given the disc we'd listened to with sutherland playing the lead. but attila....attila was like god shining down on me and saying, chick, i insist you like this stuff, because it's all you. the voices on those people...god, i was amazed. we were in the cheap seats, the only can see half the stage and five stories up and you've got a clear view right down into the orchestra pit seats. but it was still a mind blowing experience. the diva...i wish i had that voice, that talent, that presence. she just filled up the place, audible over the orchestra and every other performer singing on the stage. and the man playing attila was only 24 - i feel like an underachiever.
the show also reminded me of the one thing i almost regret in my life (as regret is useless): never learning to play the violin. i'd been about to start lessons when my family moved from madison, and it was one of the most upsetting things in my young life. i had to take up the clarinet instead. i'm sad, the way i've drifted away from music. it's so hard coming back to it, and i'm trying my best...i desperately miss choir here, the only place i have to sing is in church and in the shower. and that's just not enough. i'm finding a musical and auditioning for it when i get back. even if i only end up in the chorus, i need that. i need to sing and perform and as i'm probably never going to be in a band, it'll have to do.
then there's the experience of getting to the opera: riding 20 minutes in the tube in a sparkly dress and strappy heels (my new years outfit, minus the crown, plus a tasteful shawl), umbrella soaked from the ever present london rain. waiting for someone to get off so i can sit, though i usually don't mind standing. realizing that the inner slip of my dress has pulled itself up so high that i can't take my coat off until i find a way to get it back down. it was a good night.
allright, i'm back to the flat for a late night snack of pancakes. i have been craving them for ages and the brits haven't the slightest idea about them, it seems. i searched long and hard over this city to find pancake mix and finally found bisquick (obsenely priced, of course), and i'm not going to let it go to waste.
Tuesday, February 19, 2002
10:05 AM
the weekend was nice, very quiet. spent the good chunk of a day walking in kensington gardens, where the flowers are already blooming, and the first buds can be spotted on a few select trees. it's a beautiful place, full of people and dogs and tourists and runners and footballers and half the city it seems on weekends. lots of thinking, people watching, introspection while strolling along among londoners whose accents i no longer even notice conciously. someone told me the other day that i've acquired a british tone to my speaking, which i don't hear, but if they say so...
just finished two days of basically straight homework, trying to put together a midterm portfolio for opera. who knows how it'll look to him, the professor is insane and unpredictable. it's the week for opera overload, evidently. just turned in that portfolio, we're seeing (attila one of verdi's early operas) tonight, and then we have tickets to see carmen at royal albert hall on thursday.
i'd write more, but i've got a bunch of things to deal with today and i don't have much time to be online. which is becoming quite common, so my apologies to those of you whose emails i have yet to respond to. perhaps i'll be around tonight. i miss you guys.
Friday, February 15, 2002
6:51 PM
love does great things for society...and for people.
i saw two things on valentines day that made me smile while running around the city: a little punk kid bladed by carrying a bunch of roses, and a little later, a little old man with this huge bouquet of roses walking slowly down another street. love, young and old.
and i just read something that happened on valentines day that makes me very very happy: a good friend is getting married. i'm so excited for her.
valentine's day for me was nice and laid back. betsy and i were each others valentines. we made dinner with patrick and jim, sat and ate and drank wine and talked till late. i drank too much, but c'est la vie. happens to the best of us.
Wednesday, February 13, 2002
6:56 AM
and one more treat, a picture of my aunt and i from the family christmas. laugh all you like.
6:38 AM
also, click here for the itinerary for my egypt trip.
6:30 AM
quote of the moment: because death is a worm and i am a shiny read apple - overheard
reading:
the return of the king
sophie's world
this side of paradise
listening:
pete yorn, music from the morning after
patty griffin, flaming red
emmylou harris, red dirt girl
moulin rouge
watching:
footballers wives
sex in the city
(edited) journal excerpts from paris (because i promised):
10:45 a.m. 1 february 2002
on the eurostar, somewhere in france. the clouds hang low in the sky, gentle layers gray on gray. we came out of the chunnel about half an hour ago. the rain has stopped since then. the world via train is so much different. faster, smoother than cars, more real than planes. the track is running next to a a highway right now. i imagine that far off last train ride at the end of summer. it too will take me to paris. i will be different then. i am different now. but i feel like a blank slate, quiet and isolated from the people i am with...not right now, but back in london. they don't seem to really understand me, i and i know i don't understand them. i think we came for very different reasons.
1:54 p.m.
cafe in paris. wish i'd paid more attention in french class. bits and pieces are coming back, but overall i'm very ineffective....we're staying in the woodstock hostel. we've seen the lobby, though not yet our room. it seems quirky and fun. and they
12:30 a.m. 2 february 2002
a good first day in paris. after leaving the cafe we walked around, shopping. the streets here are much like london. not necessarily architecturally, but layout and insane traffic patterns. the french most definitely love their bread - the shops litter every corner, people walk down the sidewalk carrying giant baguettes. and so many toy dogs.
our hostel is wonderful. there's a little bar, social area around the desk, a small courtyard in the center which everything branches off of, with a view straight up into the sky. which our room has too, in the form of a skylight, along with a big window to dramatically open over the courtyard. it's all very bright, very french countryside. there is a fat lovely kitty named jesus.
sacre coeur. it rests high on a hill above the city, beautiful old catholic cathedral filled with rose windows and frescos and tiny chapel alcoves. i lit votives for those i love, said a prayer. we heard part of mass, then went out, the city in darkness laid out below. one random sky scraper thrust into the skyline, but then, if you looked to the right, through a few bare tree branches, was the eiffel tower in a blaze of orange burn glory against the dark sky.
we're merely a few blocks away from the red light district, which we walked through tonight with lorna, an irish girl we met at dinner, when she talked us into going to beamish, an irish pub. reaching said pub required going through what may as well have been times square in the 80s. we saw the moulin rouge (the movie version was far more impressive). not that we could afford to get in, as it was far more exclusive than everything around it. so we ended up drinking 6.90 pound cocktails in an authentic irish pub (with an authentic irish girl) listening to english-lyric mostly american pop music, in the red light district, in montmartre, in paris france. with cute men from the isles with accents.
3:59 p.m.
another restaurant in paris. this one is a cross between family restaurant, french cafe, and tacky disco. we have been walking for four hours. came off the metro between the eiffel tower and the side of the arc de triumph. walked to both, then along a long grass mall were more of the unavoidable adorable couples lazed and walked about. the fountains were off, but a peace memorial lay at the end. we're now somewhere between the musee du rodin and l'eglise du dome. we also passed by the most adorable little patisserie with more lovely dainties. we'll probably go back. i'd really like to go to notre dame before the day is through, as most of tomorrow will be devoted to the louvre.
2:04 a.m. 3 february 2002
post restaurant: confectionery shop, notre dame, mass, tube home, wine and cheese. tired and must be awake in 6 hours.
10:45 p.m.
the louvre is incredible. the old palace and its statues of philosophers, paired with that glass pyramid and fountains (a horrid horrid pairing). (distracted from writing at this point.)
12:34 a.m. 5 february 2002
we woke early today, reluctantly crawling from bed after the alarm went off a third time after 5:00 a.m. pulled on clothes, packed, left woodstock hostel. though not before first making the door buzz while trying to unlock it, then accidentally ringing the doorbell trying to relock it. we looked at each other, started giggling, and first walked, then ran to and around the corner. we walked through the nearly empty streets of a predawn paris, a few cars driving even at that early hour, to the gare de nord. we were early, of course, sat in the silver rows of chairs and talked, staring at the rafters and tall windows arching above the nearly silent trains. once boarded, we quickly fell asleep.
Tuesday, February 12, 2002
4:20 AM
"the world is my oyster, the road is my home, and i know that i'm better, i'm better off alone."
i used to think those lyrics were incredibly sad, almost heart breaking. but i realized something a few days ago. they're empowering. and strengthening. and such strong echoes of my life at this moment.
Saturday, February 09, 2002
2:44 PM
we saw the sun today. that is what drives me crazy about this city, is the nearly constant cloud cover. and the sun came out while we were at the football match, which was great. we had no overhang, so if it had started to rain we would have been soaked to the skin. it was really fun to watch, probably aided by the fact that the team we were cheering for won. plus we had mick explaining all the rules to us when we looked confused about what was going on.
last night went out for thai food, then drinks with patrick, scott, and mari. was a good evening, chilling in kensington without having to ride the tube or the bus.
and why do i overintellectualize and overanalyze everything?
Friday, February 08, 2002
10:50 AM
i've been kinda anti-social this week, so my apologies. it's one of those "what am i doing with my life" moments that i knew was going to come out of this trip. sometimes i swear i feel myself changing with each breath. yeah, yeah, i sound pretentious...but it's true. it's a weird week. quiet was called for.
got up late today, ate lunch at the goat, which is a pub down the street from us that has been around longer than the u.s.a. then we went to the national gallery for a good chunk of the day. i think we're going out tonight, but i'm not really sure. i'm in the mood to wander to the rock garden or one the other clubs and flirt.
i will put up that entry about paris within the next day or two, promise. probably just excerpts from my paper journal, but i have to figure out which ones.
Monday, February 04, 2002
2:30 PM
back from paris. it was a really great trip. will add an actual entry about it later.
am thinking a lot about things in (and out of) my life. i don't feel rooted in the real world. i feel very distant from it, and i don't like that feeling. hopefully it'll pass.
